I’m a writer who, until recently, has subtly beaten myself up everyday of my life for not living a more creative life. I’ve just turned 46. I’m married to a wonderful man who is not traditional in any sense of the word (and I like that!) , I’m a mother to an amazing yet emotionally exhausting child who keeps me on the edge of my seat, and I am living with cancer (metastasis – thyroid) and this slow growing, moody cancer will probably not be the thing that kills me. (You can read more about that journey here – but I haven’t updated in a while. It felt I was starting to sound whiny when it didn’t go away and my brain started leaking – punchingitintheface.wordpress.com)
I’m currently crawling out of a hole of anger, self-pity and resentment. This is a scary time for me in my life. I’m just starting to recover my strength for a battle to claim my space and own my life. I know I’m not alone in this experience of midlife rebirth. At forty-six, I find myself surrounded by creative, strong woman in the midst of a life shift. At ‘middle age’,we all have some some serious life history and experiences to share. We’re not new moms, our kids are getting older, we’re on our second marriage, we’ve remained single, chosen not to bring children into the world, we’ve come out, we’ve gotten on and off the wagon, we’ve separated, we’ve cheated, we’ve set goals and achieved them, we’ve failed, we’ve lost and gained the weight. We are our experiences and must share then to understand what it is to be an individualized woman today.
There’s so much going on right now; there’s a Renaissance happening and I want to be a part of it. Life is a big stewy brew of love and muck- the trick is to figure out what you can change, what you can prevent and what you can live with. With age comes strength. Change is brewing. Let it happen.
Hopefully this blog helps others through.